Part 6 – 7 – 8 Series on the type of Women to Avoid for Marriage for Brothers looking to Marry.

All the praise is for Allah the Most High, the Lord of all the worlds. Peace and Blessing of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and his family and his companions and those who follow him.

Part 6 Marriage advice for Men looking for a wife.

‪#‎Avoid‬ women who are scorn by other men. For she will always compare you to these other men, no matter how good you are to her or how much you spend on her or how much you love her. As soon something does not go her way she will say you are like this x-husband (or x-boyfriend), or she will say so and so x-husband used to do the same thing. Or she will say so and so (x /or { her friend’s}) husband speaks well of her. Even if it sounds positive it is not, because she is still comparing you to him. Avoid these type of women.

Part 7 Marriage advice for Men looking for a wife.

‪#‎Avoid‬ the women who have a lot of children (3 or more) with each child has a different father. These type of women have no sabir and is a sign that she can not keep a marriage, and she has no honor of her self, or her children. Most likely if you live in a Western world, you be paying child support that is part 8 …………..

Part 8 Marriage advice for Men looking for a wife.

‪#‎Avoid‬ women who will have you paying child support, and who is quick to run to the courts to solve her problems and not an Imam or Shaykh in the Masjid.

If you see the women have different children and their fathers pays child support if your marriage goes sour there is a chance she will have you doing it also.

Where in the US they will take your:

driver license

passport

any type of work license

also arrested if you did not pay your balance owed

Until your balance is paid.

In the US child support is a big business that the US government makes profits off it, many cases they force the women into child support agreements base upon her getting some finical aid from the government (welfare).

Read how the US government makes a profit from child support system New York Times article: Mothers Scrimp as States Take Child Support click here

Quotes from the article :

The intensified national effort over the last decade to establish paternity for babies born out of wedlock and to collect more support money, mainly from fathers, is often described as a great success. And indeed, collections have increased significantly, to some $24 billion in 2006 from $12 billion in 1996, helping many families avoid penury.

But for the poorest men and women, the story is mixed. Young fathers with little education or job prospects find themselves in arrears and facing jail time or the loss of their driver’s licenses as a result, making it all the harder to start earning and paying, said David J. Pate Jr., an assistant professor of social work at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee

The intensified national effort over the last decade to establish paternity for babies born out of wedlock and to collect more support money, mainly from fathers, is often described as a great success. And indeed, collections have increased significantly, to some $24 billion in 2006 from $12 billion in 1996, helping many families avoid penury.

“Tonya Wenk, 24, of Milwaukee is so angry at the reduction in payments for her daughter that she and the father have applied to withdraw from the child support system”

The Bush administration has set a goal of increasing the share of collections distributed to families and reducing the amount retained by the government. But the drive to reduce the budget deficit has gotten in the way. As part of last-minute budget crunching, the Republican-controlled Congress in that same act reduced by 20 percent the child-support enforcement money it gives to the states, starting this fall. Many states say the effort to force them to pay more of the enforcement costs will impede collections and prevent them from passing more money on to needy families.

NYS DCSE (Website; Noncustodial parents often have specific questions about child support).

What happens if I do not pay what I am supposed to?

Your obligation to support your child begins when your child is born. If you do not start paying support when your child is born or do not pay what you owe for pregnancy or birth expenses, the amount you should have paid starts to add up. Even if you start paying later, you may still owe money from the time before you were paying. This is another reason why it is best to pay support right from the beginning.

The child support enforcement agency keeps track of the money you owe. Amounts you owe that you have not paid are called arrears. If you have arrears, the child support enforcement agency will take steps to collect that money. These steps can include taking your tax refund, lottery winnings, and your bank accounts; suspending your driver’s license; and notifying credit reporting agencies about your debt. If you do not pay support, you can also be sentenced to time in jail.

You will get a notice in the mail before any of these things happen. The notice will tell you exactly what you have to do to stop them from happening. For example, if you get a notice that your driver’s license is going to be suspended, you can keep your license by making an arrangement with the child support agency to pay what you owe.

If you have moved and have not notified the child support agency, you will not receive important notices mailed to you to keep you informed about actions that are taking place on your child support account. Thus, you will not have the opportunity to take steps to stop the actions from taking place. In order to ensure you receive important notices, you must keep your address information up to date.

If you try to avoid being found, the child support enforcement agency will use many ways to find you, even if you go to another state. All states have child support enforcement agencies, and they all work together to find people who are not paying child support. Once you are found, enforcement actions will begin to collect all the money you owe.

This will be a new series of advice for Muslim men who live in North America related to marriage advice on what type of women to avoid for marriage.

The Prophet صلى الله و عليه و سلم said:

“The religion is naseehah (sincere advice).” We said, “To whom?” He صلى الله عليه و سلم said, “To Allah, His Book, His Messenger, to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Marriage advice for the men, these are just my opinions from many brothers older than me, and who been through the mud with marriages and advice from them. In many cases for married brothers and brothers who are single when people talk about issues related to marriage and things that happen in many cases you are looking into your own fate. So you should give your ear perhaps you can avoid problems in your marriage or looking for a spouse, through the experience of others. It is stated in a Hadith:

“so that, if any part of the body is not well then the whole body shares the sleeplessness (insomnia) and fever with it.” (Bukhari)

These post are gear for brothers and not sisters. Neither is it to offend any sister who might feel these post are targeting them due to feeling guilty, or feeling being attacked, or it describe you. If you have one of these traits that are described you should try your best to remove it from you.

These post are not saying it forbidden to marry these type of women, it is gear towards clarity of what befalls a lot of women that cause their marriage not to work or leave the man with a lot of problems which he become regretful about. Due to Islam in America and other Western countries many converts come to Islam, and many times no one talks to him about these issues and he is left to learn on his own. This is gear towards revert Muslims and any other who it can reach.

Ibn Hibban narrated in his work Nazahti Al-Fadlaa the advice of Al-Khattaab bin Mu’laa Al-Makhzoomee to his son. At the end of his words he mentioned the following: “Know that women vary more than the fingers of your hand. So be cautious in dealing with them.”

Shaykh Salih al Uthymeen described in the seven type of women not to marry one of them being:

Kay’atul-Qafaa:
The women who has a brand mark on the nape of her neck (i.e. has a bad reputation or doubts about her).

Those who disagree with these post , Imam Malik said: ” all speech is accepted or rejected except for the speech of the one in this grave”. He was speaking about the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه و سلم.